The Perils of being an adult.

There is a strange sadness i've had to rediscover over the past decade or so of my life. But only every few years.(thankfully)The sensation of having to sleep in your own bed again after not having slept in it on a regular basis for say in this case, 5 + months.

It's as if you're just finding out that you've never really liked your bed. In fact, you down right loathe your bed. But, ironically enough, you'll be spending all your free time for the next few months hibernating in it. It's a love-hate relationship we all go through. How is the one thing we hate so much the first thing we run to in the depths of our sadness or heart brokeness?

It's simple. We all need to feel loved, and somehow. Even a crappy bed provides a slight amount of comfort when we need it most.

I just said something to a friend the other day that I found to be rather profound for me, It's on the topic of relationships. She thought she was too damaged from past relationships to be any good at them anymore. This is what I told her.

"Maybe you don't have to be good at them with the right person. Maybe they're just good for you at that point"

I had never thought about it like that. People walk around with baggage all the time. It weighs them down, it makes it hard for them to have effective relationships when all they really need to do is just be in one. The healing will happen. It's just how open you are to the healing that matters. Hmmm That is something to think about.

It's hard being an adult sometimes. It has tendency to sneak up on us, especially when we least expect it. I recently became an uncle. Me! an uncle. That kind of blew my mind. I recall sitting at the table talking to my close friend. Then it hit me. We had been at that same table in her parents kitchen 10 years earlier doing the same exact thing. I asked her mother if she found it strange. She said something to the effect of "well, you were kids then, and now you're all grown up. But, you're still kids to me" I found that some what appropriate.

Being an adult means you make the right decisions (or try to). You stand up for what you believe in and you treat people right. At least, I think that is what it is supposed to feel like. But, as I near the age of 30 I feel like i'm no better off than my parents where when I was a little kid. My parents were 30 when I was 5ish. That is scary. I can't imagine even having a baby let alone a 5 year old.

Am I truly getting old?